Let Go of Judgment and Be Happy

Let Love in Your Life in Every Moment

What's the most important thing to remember?

For me it's: Let go of judgment and cynicism!

Sounds easy? No, yet it can be done and it will support you in letting love in your life.

Having been brought up to be a logical thinker and discerning about everything, this lesson has been especially helpful for me. Thinking too much is highly overrated. Have you noticed that some people are boastful and others tend to belittle themselves. We do the same thing to ourselves in our head. At first blush, these seem to be polar opposites of each other. The truth is, both ways of being are showing us an underlying truth that deep down inside we do not feel good about ourselves. I am learning to have compassion on these parts of myself. When we notice that we feel less than someone else or better than, there it is! Clearing these scenarios out of my head is the key!

When I find myself judging (whether it be myself or someone or something else), I say a magical affirmation which I learned from the book Zero Limits by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len Ph.D. This wonderful book describes how these words transformed an unbelievably difficult situation. The words are simple yet profound: I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me and thank you. Who do I say these words to? I say them to myself silently. An example: You are at work and someone appears to be putting you down with their tonal quality. Say to yourself "I love you". (People can sometimes trigger parts of ourselves that resonate with their feelings of not loving themselves. So I remind myself that I do love me). Then say silently "I'm sorry". (I say this to myself, because I am sorry I have created this experience to wake me up to the 'now' moment or however you choose perceiving it) Next is "please forgive me". (I'm asking myself to forgive some unconscious part of myself that does not totally love me). And finally I say "thank you" to myself. (I am grateful this was brought to my awareness for my growth). I may say it hundreds of times to myself before I feel clear. Or I may say it once or twice. Or journal about it! It does get easier!

Whenever I feel triggered by someone else, I say these phrases to myself. Or I can say it silently to the other person. It supports me in staying out of judgment and out of my ruminating about it. Peacefulness is what I feel, when I do this.

This works in traffic, at work, at home, with family, with those little things people do that we choose to let get us off our peaceful center point. It is really our 'response' to outside experiences, that creates the frustration, not the experience itself. It is always a choice, for me to experience this moment fully here and now.

When I love me, it is much easier to love others, even when they are doing their own stuff to themselves. I can then express my true feelings in a compassionate way to them. "I" sentences, about how I feel. For instance: 'I feel frustrated when we are not able to communicate with each other in a way that supports us both'. It can be challenging, yet doing the best to share feelings without pointing the finger at the other person, is a powerful, loving experience. It may not come out the way you want it to, so remember to not beat yourself up about it. Another opportunity to say the magic words!

It can be pretty funny after awhile. I keep going deeper and deeper with forgiving myself and I realize, I can drop the 'I'm sorry" and 'please forgive me' and say to myself simply: 'I love you' and 'thank you'.

Try it, you will be amazed! The 'aha' moments will come at an alarming rate. Enjoy! Keep me informed on how this supports you in your life.

Wishing you the best, joyful life possible in every moment!